Frequently Asked Questions
You’ve Got Questions?
The Vetting Committee’s Got Answers!
Q: Why is the group called “Sarasota Café Racers”?
A: Because the founding fathers turned down Suncoast Schmooze & Cruise, Sarasota Bun & Run, Sarasota Racing & Beer Drinking Club, Burgers & BS and Tamiami Trail Street Racers & Choral Society. They also nixed Manatee-Sarasota Sports Car Driving and Chowder Society because of a potential conflict with the elite and litigious NYC-based Madison Avenue Sports Car Driving and Chowder Society!
Q: I live in Los Angeles and it’s really expensive flying in for bi-weekly lunches. Would you consider franchising Café Racers so I can start my own group?
A: Yes, we have just started “auctioning” regional franchises. Our first Café Racer satellite is up and running in Washington, DC: Washington Café Racers, Car Guys Who Lobby. Turnkey franchises are available and we highly recommend third party financing assistance from our offshore banking partners: Banco do Ponzi (Andorra), Grifter Savings & Laundering (Luxembourg) and Banco di Guido (Antigua). For more information about starting a Café Racer lunch group in your area, please visit the Contact Us page.
Q: Even though I keep a low profile driving around town in my Camaro, cops are always bugging me. Can you recommend legal counsel?
A: Absolutely. When problems arise, the Café Racers turn to the more-than-century-old, Ferrari-friendly law firm, Dewey Cheatham & Howe LLP on Park Avenue in New York City. Please visit our friends at www.Dewey-Cheatham-Howe.com
Q: I show Pebble Beach winning cars and would like to have lunch with your group. However, I am concerned about security.
A: Fugetaboudit! Our Sergeant-At-Arms is ex-Military-Police, a local law enforcement officer and drives a very fast Cobra. Plus, 20% of Café Racers have Concealed Weapon Permits and there’s always at least one lawyer at lunch!
Q: I usually dress for lunch. Is there a dress code at Café Racer lunches?
A: Most definitely. Polyester leisure suits, disco shirts and multiple gold chains are frowned upon, and, you must keep your pants on while dining! Limited body piercing and tasteful tats are OK. You might want to bring a bib though as the BBQ ribs are awesome.
Q: Do the Café Racers have a secret handshake?
A: No, but we do have a cheer: We’re Loud! We’re Proud! We’re Car Guys Who Lunch! If you’re interested in joining the squad, please check with the Director of our Café Racer Appreciation Program.
Q: My name is Josel and I’m an auto show spokesmodel. I was wondering if women could join Café Racers?
A: No problem. Car Guys is not gender specific. I know your “friends” don’t eat a lot, but you should consider coming alone until the guys get to know you!
Q: I’m sure you like to make fun of big Buicks. I drive a 400-horsepower Buick-built Hellcat that will literally blow the doors off anything on the road and I’d like to become a Café Racer. You got a problem with that?
A: Hell no, Horatio. Just leave the live rounds at home!
Q: I’m into Cruising and not sure the Café Racers are my kind of guys?
A: It all depends on what you’re cruising for, Leif Ericsson! You will have to check your Viking fedora before you can be seated for lunch. Love your Anglo-American hot rod.
Q: Please don’t pay attention to the “I Am Not Normal” sticker on my V-8-powered Iso Isetta. I’m really as normal as anyone who drives a 400-horsepower microcar. Will I fit in with the Café Racers?
A: Since you only take up half a parking space, you’ll fit!
Q: Do you have to drive an Italian or German car to join? I’m into big-block Camaros, smoky burnouts and Sabrett hot dogs.
A: We may be politically incorrect and irreverent, but we are equal opportunity enthusiasts. We welcome Silver Cars from the Land Of Lederhosen, Red Cars from the Land Of Lasagna, Green Cars from the Land Of Lucas and Red, White & Blue Cars from the Land Of Lincoln. However, bling kings and drivers of Yugos, Trabants, Pontiac Azteks or any Chrysler with “Rich Corinthian Leather” should look elsewhere. BTW: Ditch that Frito Bandito look, it’s so yesterday!
Q: I’m Dilbert Horatio Farb and in 1972 I won the Simmons Beautyrest Nationals in a Can-Am McLaren. My adventures were chronicled in “Dream Machine” in the July 1972 issue of CARS magazine. Can I have lunch with you guys?
A: Maybe, Farb. First you’ll have to burn your vintage Nomex driving suit and shoes and lose that “brain bucket.” Then we’ll talk.
If you still have questions about Sarasota’s Car Guys Who Lunch or would like information about launching a satellite Café Racer lunch group, please visit the Contact page.
And stay tuned for more news about our upcoming music video, CAR GUYS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN! and publications: Café Racers Franchise Manual & Guide To Offshore Banking and The Gonzo Guide To Poseur Spotting!